Relationship Problems: Putting Your Kids Before Your Marriage

One of the most common relationship problems today is when couples put their children before their marriage. Oh, they don’t set out to do that. It just happens over time…if you let it. Have heard to old saying, “In order to be a good father, you must be a good husband first”? I believe that’s true, even after 21 years of marriage.

Being a parent is tough. We take care of a child with special needs and home-school him. We try our best to raise 2 young girls, 2 teenagers, and have my wife work full-time while I stay home and try to keep the family together. It’s easy to forget to spend quality time with my wife. Add in money problems, a lack of child care, and a wife with a chronic illness, it adds a lot of stress on a marriage.

Another aspect to this common relationship problem is the perception that you don’t have enough money to spend more time with your wife. We all can use a break from kids and life’s routines. But, how can you afford it? The answer is easier than you may think.

Remember all the planning you did when your first met your wife. You didn’t have a large budget back then, but you were creative, and found ways to show her how special she was. Fast forward to today. She desperately needs to feel loved and accepted, and cared for by you. It is so easy to let your love for each other get choked out by all the worries and cares of this world.

Not everything has to cost you money to get away for just a little while each day. You can take a walk around your neighborhood, go for a hike at a nature preserve, or just take a drive for 15 minutes. If you have young children, you could go somewhere for an hour, while the kids are at church in the nursery.

Recently, I took my wife to get a breakfast sandwich one Sunday while the kids were at church. It wasn’t very long –maybe a half an hour, but it made her feel appreciated. If you don’t have a sitter, or family you can count on, you might be able to ask a friend at church you trust.

Here’s a little marriage advice for ya: Invest the time now with your wife, or you will regret it later. Your wife’s attitude has a profound effect on the overall tone of the entire household. The old saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”, helps to put things into perspective here.

One big step you can take in solving this critical relationship problem is to take time to search for creative ways to be with the one you love. Recently, I started taking hikes in a local nature preserve with my wife. It’s only a couple of miles from our home, it’s free, and she loves it.

We have even gone with the kids and they enjoy it too. It is just a simple activity, but we get to escape from the routine and go somewhere that appears to us like another world. It has trails and hills we have to climb. However, when we get to the nearby peaceful creek, it makes the effort all seem worthwhile.

The point here is that it doesn’t take much effort or imagination to carve out some time with your wife. If you do you won’t regret it. And, your kids will see that your relationship with your wife is important.

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