The Language of Love: Are You Speaking Your Wife’s Love Language?

I can hear you now, “The language of love?”, and “How does speaking my wife’s love language relate to being a good husband?” Plenty! Dr. Gary Chapman (author, speaker, and therapist) wrote a book called “The Five Love Languages.” The five languages are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

Back during the 1990’s I heard Dr. Chapman speak at our church regarding these five love languages. Dr. Chapman said that speaking our wife’s love languages was critical, and one of the best things we can do as husbands to keep our marriage strong – especially when we don’t feel “the tingles” anymore.

What are Tingles? Tingles are the feelings you had when you and your spouse began to date each other. You know how you felt? You couldn’t wait to see each other gain. You couldn’t stop thinking about each other. It was hard to concentrate on anything else. You had the feeling of love. Remember what you used to do? You went to extreme measures to gain each other’s affection. Writing sappy poetry, singing mushy love songs, and any other thing, you did it all just to let each other know how you felt about each other (all part of speaking the language of love).

So, why did you stop speaking her love language? What happened that made you quit doing the things you did at first? Whatever the reason, you stopped doing it. So you don’t feel in love anymore? No wonder! Yes, feelings are not everything. But, they are important. Start speaking her love language again and you might just see a big difference in your relationship. Does your wife like creative gift ideas? Well, give her one. Does she like – read need – words of encouragement? Start saying encouraging things to her. Keep it real. But keep it coming, and often. That’s what it takes to build her up and to reignite the old love machine.

Many guys think, “She knows I love her”, and “I do stuff all the time for her.” Well, her love language may not be acts of service. Talk to her and find out what her love language is and start speaking it. Tell her what your love language is and give her examples of how she can speak it. If you have children you can do the same thing with them. If you do, odds are that you are going to see a dramatic improvement in your relationships.

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